Post by ruddy on Nov 25, 2005 3:17:38 GMT -5
Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the
older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day
he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny,she told him to hide behind
the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to
his mother. "'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a
while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing
and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face
started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his
just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as
the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
I guess he was getting sick too,because pretty soon both of them started
panting and gettin all out of breath. His other hand must of been cold
because he put it under her skirt.
About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and
squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was
when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she
felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick --
a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his
pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he
grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it,
she got really scared --her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and
she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was
the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down
at the lake by our house!
Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off.
All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while
he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head
to keep it from biting again.
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it
and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a
fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost
upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it
between them.
After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her
boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because
it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they
went back to courting anyway.
He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't
dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess
eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something. This time,
Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a
35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead,
because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down
the toilet.